The Seinfeld Opposition - by Sam

Reflections from SAM

In recovery, one of the topics that I hear over and over again is the need for change.
Change your thinking. Change your friends. Change your life. Change your attitude.
The definition of change is to make the form, nature, content, or future course of
something different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.

As a person in recovery, I have a good idea of what would happen if I didn’t make a
decision to change on a daily basis. If I do what I always did, I would immediately
fall back into my old habits and addictions. This is the definition of insanity—doing
the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

The hard part about change is it causes discomfort and takes work—two things that
don’t come easy to me.

When I first became sober, I knew that I had to change but didn’t know where to
begin. My best thinking got me a bed here (at Salvation Army) and if I wanted to
stay, I had to change not just some things but almost everything. I felt like George
Costanza in the Seinfeld episode “The Opposite.”

In this episode, George is lamenting that his entire life has gone wrong. He says, “My
life has gone opposite of what I would like it to be. Every instinct I have in every
aspect of life has been wrong.” He says. “I always order tuna on toast with cole slaw
and a cup of coffee but nothing has worked with tuna on toast. I should try chicken
salad on rye, untoasted with a side of potato salad and a cup of tea.”

Just then, Elaine notices a woman looking at George and suggests he do something
different and go talk to her. But George says, “Elaine, bald men with no job and
no money who live with their parents, do not go up to strange women and start a
conversation.”

Jerry intercedes, “Here’s your chance to do the opposite. Instead of tuna salad on
toast and being intimidated by a woman, order chicken salad untoasted and go right
up to her. If every instinct you have is wrong, try doing the opposite, right?”

So, he begrudgingly does. “Excuse me, my name is George, I’m unemployed and live
with my parents.” To George’s surprise the woman says, “Hi, I’m Victoria” and a
conversation ensues.

Seriously, this is how I felt.

Last year, I was five months sober and called my sponsor to say, “I thought this
change would be easier as I go along. I’m five months clean why is this getting
harder?” He simply replied, “I’ve been sober 14 years and still trying to change.
There is no finish line here. Change is a constant process and to remember you are
either moving closer to a drink or drug or you are moving farther away.

I like what Will Rogers said, “You might be on the right track but you will just get
run over if you just sit there.” This is life in recovery. In order to change our lives,
we first have to change our thinking. Sometimes, I have to think about what I’m
thinking about and do the opposite. Am I dwelling on negativity, self-pity, other
people’s opinions of me, or am I meditating on what God says about me—sober,
creative, talented, well-able, can change, will change?

I like the way the apostle Paul wrote the Ephesian believers, “…put off your old self,
which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;…. and put on the new self, created
to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

The only mistake you can make today is to give up on making change.

Do You Believe in Jesus? Part II

"Reflections from Recovery" written by "Sam"


Being a human I always want more proof, scientific proof that Jesus was here and he

existed.  I can't see the wind but it makes me cold when I smoke.  I can't see my brain but I know it is there and sometimes it's working.  I read countless books on the subject of Jesus.  He fascinates me.  The Bible prophecies that were written hundreds of years before Jesus was born, came true.  Our whole calendar is based on one man's life.  BC- before Christ and AD-Anno Domini (not after death, Jesus died around 30 to 33 ad) translated - In the year of the Lord.  What influence.

10 of the 12 disciples were crucified or stoned or executed for there belief as well.  Why would they do that?  I look at people who are living a Christian life then and now and that helps me believe.

The tact for me is it’s not a matter of further evidence. I have all the evidence I need.  It's a matter of the heart. Do I want to trust God and humbly receive the gifts he offers, or do I insist on proving myself good enough and doing it my way?

I also came to this conclusion.  I didn't half step my drinking or drugging.  I was all in or I wasn't.  So, I'm not going to be half a Christian either.

When I read the Bible, the thing that stands out to me is when Jesus shows his human side the most because I can relate to it.  I can't relate to turning water into wine or raising people from the dead or healing the blind.  But I can relate when He is tempted by the devil in the wilderness.  Or, like when he cries out to God in John Chapter 12, “My soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray Father, save me from this hour but this is the very reason I came. Father bring glory to your name.”  I have felt a similar anguish though for different reasons.

If you don't agree with anything I said - that's ok - nobody gets God by having a Bible crammed down there throat.

In my first month here I probably never even really mentioned the name JESUS besides in prayer. I found that if I just believe and act upon that belief that my spirituality grows.

I know for me it was hard to sing Christian songs out loud at first because I guess I wanted people to think that I'm tough which is funny because everyone knows I'm soft.

All I'm saying here is open your mind and try something different.

Believe it or not - this works.  Really, what do you have to lose?



grace, peace + hope-Jesse

Do You Believe in Jesus?

Reflections from Recovery
-written by "Sam"

"Do You Believe in Jesus" Part I

This devotion is from my perspective and my experience.  It is based on a devotion I did at a Christian based recovery program at a Salvation Army Rehab Center.  My job was not to preach but to inspire others to go deeper in their recovery and identify that higher power.  Here are my words of encouragement.

When we first come into the program, it's hard even to believe in God or that AA/NA can help us. If we did believe God, we cursed him for the life we were given. Life wasn't fair. It's hard to do what the 12 step programs teach us - meeting makers make it, call your sponsor, get a support network. Let Go and Let God.

With all of this AA/NA and Higher Power stuff thrown at us, we come in here and they throw another element into our already complicated recovery: JESUS.

We come to a rehab like no other that I've been in and a whole other program is

introduced to us - The program is part of the universal Christian church. Its message is based on the Bible. Its ministry is motivated by the love of God. Its mission is to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and to meet human needs in His name without discrimination.

From my own experience -I believe in God and some of the bible. But why is it so hard to make a small step from believing in God to believing in Jesus as well.

I remember I was out at the smoke shack and it was just me and another resident.  I wanted to ask him, “Do you believe in Jesus?”

A part of me stopped and said, "No Sam don't open up that can of worms"

Why is it so hard for me to talk about it?   We are in a Christian rehab.  Is it because I made fun of Christians growing up?  Is it because Jesus is specific, he was human but had the power of God in Him.  Is that so unusual?  I guess so. 

Asking someone if they believe in Jesus is like asking them what color underwear they have on.  It is odd.

God is vast, super-natural. The Creator of all things.

When I was having trouble believing in this whole thing, I told my counselor that I am 80% of the way there. He told me when you pray.  Do YOU pray to 80% of God?  Well, no.  When God answers a prayer, is it 80%?
Well, no.

-to be continued tomorrow-

grace, peace + hope

-Jesse

Delusion of Self-Sufficency

"Reflections from Recovery"
Sam's thoughts on "I" continue here:

Written by "Sam" 10/26
The spiritual part of our disease is self-centeredness .

What is self-centeredness ?

It is the belief that the world revolves around me.  My wishes, my demands - are the only ones worth consideration.  Our self-centered minds believe they are capable of getting everything they want if only they would be left to their own devices.We say that self-centeredness is the spiritual part of the disease because the self-centered mind cannot conceive of anything greater than or more important that itself.  But there is a spiritual solution to our spiritual disease.

We strip away our delusion of self-sufficiency by surrendering to a Higher Power greater than ourselves.  We admit we have been wrong, make amends, and seek knowledge of what's right from the God of our understanding.  We seek to serve others and not ourselves.

The goal is to become more God-centered and less self-centered.


grace, peace + hope
-Jesse