The Seinfeld Opposition - by Sam

Reflections from SAM

In recovery, one of the topics that I hear over and over again is the need for change.
Change your thinking. Change your friends. Change your life. Change your attitude.
The definition of change is to make the form, nature, content, or future course of
something different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.

As a person in recovery, I have a good idea of what would happen if I didn’t make a
decision to change on a daily basis. If I do what I always did, I would immediately
fall back into my old habits and addictions. This is the definition of insanity—doing
the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

The hard part about change is it causes discomfort and takes work—two things that
don’t come easy to me.

When I first became sober, I knew that I had to change but didn’t know where to
begin. My best thinking got me a bed here (at Salvation Army) and if I wanted to
stay, I had to change not just some things but almost everything. I felt like George
Costanza in the Seinfeld episode “The Opposite.”

In this episode, George is lamenting that his entire life has gone wrong. He says, “My
life has gone opposite of what I would like it to be. Every instinct I have in every
aspect of life has been wrong.” He says. “I always order tuna on toast with cole slaw
and a cup of coffee but nothing has worked with tuna on toast. I should try chicken
salad on rye, untoasted with a side of potato salad and a cup of tea.”

Just then, Elaine notices a woman looking at George and suggests he do something
different and go talk to her. But George says, “Elaine, bald men with no job and
no money who live with their parents, do not go up to strange women and start a
conversation.”

Jerry intercedes, “Here’s your chance to do the opposite. Instead of tuna salad on
toast and being intimidated by a woman, order chicken salad untoasted and go right
up to her. If every instinct you have is wrong, try doing the opposite, right?”

So, he begrudgingly does. “Excuse me, my name is George, I’m unemployed and live
with my parents.” To George’s surprise the woman says, “Hi, I’m Victoria” and a
conversation ensues.

Seriously, this is how I felt.

Last year, I was five months sober and called my sponsor to say, “I thought this
change would be easier as I go along. I’m five months clean why is this getting
harder?” He simply replied, “I’ve been sober 14 years and still trying to change.
There is no finish line here. Change is a constant process and to remember you are
either moving closer to a drink or drug or you are moving farther away.

I like what Will Rogers said, “You might be on the right track but you will just get
run over if you just sit there.” This is life in recovery. In order to change our lives,
we first have to change our thinking. Sometimes, I have to think about what I’m
thinking about and do the opposite. Am I dwelling on negativity, self-pity, other
people’s opinions of me, or am I meditating on what God says about me—sober,
creative, talented, well-able, can change, will change?

I like the way the apostle Paul wrote the Ephesian believers, “…put off your old self,
which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;…. and put on the new self, created
to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

The only mistake you can make today is to give up on making change.