Every. Single. Day.

Can I be completely honest with you?

Yes?  Thanks.  Here goes...

I'm tired. Tired of the struggles of this life.  Primarily the one I fight with myself.  It's been a rough couple months internally.  I've been fighting the desires of my flesh, those needy selfish pointless things that result in nothing good.

I get angry with myself, and it just spirals and becomes a vicious circle.  Sound familiar to anyone?  I catch myself getting grumpier and more irritable.  Quickly I become very self-centered and avoid any challenge to that concept.  I stew.  And I close my ears.

And I don't listen for God to speak to me.  To remind me of things I know in my heart.

Then, like yesterday, there will be a break in the internal storm, and the light will shine through.  And humble me to my knees.  That break can take many forms.  A word from a friend, a song, a view of the mountains...and I hear what God has been constantly saying through the whole bit of self chaos.

"Get over yourself.  Love your God with all your heart.  And your neighbor.  Every.  Single.  Day."

Anyone else?  You get so caught up in daily life, yourself, your family, and you loose sight of God.  But he wants us to put him first every day.  Not Sunday.  Not Wednesday night, or when ever your group meets.  Not when you feel like it, not when you want to.

Every.  Single.  Day.

This is not me making things up.  This is straight from the mouth of Jesus.  Look up Luke 9.

Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?

 This is something I'm saying as much to myself as I am anyone else.  Being a follower of Jesus, a student, a disciple of his, means to deny yourself daily.  This isn't meant to be some directive to punish yourself or anything like that.  It is, simply put, shifting the focus of your life from yourself to Jesus.

Easier said than done.  Trust me I know.  But this is me, and M28, encouraging you to do just that.  There is no secret.  No formula on how to do this.  All I can suggest is what has worked for me in the past, and what I'm implementing moving forward.  Spend time with Jesus.  Pray.  Read the Word.  Meditate on the scriptures.  Or find what draws you to him.

Another thing is do follow the commands he gave us.  Three huge ones are:
        1)  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and all your mind and with all your strength.
        2)  Love your neighbor as yourself.
        3)  Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

That pretty much takes care of everyone on the planet.  The last two are fairly easy to figure out.  But how do you show love to God?  I know I reference this scripture often on this blog, but it seems that important to be repeated.  Matthew 25:

‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

and

The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

 This isn't stuff you need credentials for.  You don't even need a high school diploma for this stuff.  Feed the hungry.  Give drink to the thirsty.  Welcome strangers.  Clothe those without.  Care for the sick.  Visit those in prison.  There are people in need all around you.  Maybe on your block or in your apartment building.  Maybe it will take a bit of a drive.  But they are there.  Waiting.  Waiting for you.  Waiting for Jesus.

Every.  Single.  Day.

I say all these things because I need to hear them.  And because I want to challenge and encourage you as well.  You don't need dynamite or a backhoe to move mountains and tear down walls.  Try a smile.  Patience.  Kindness.  Put others before yourself.  Family.  Friends.  Strangers.  See what happens.

Do it today.  Do it now.

grace, peace & hope
-Jesse

Confession of a former deacon

I just finished reading an email news letter written by a fellow M28 Ministry staff member. In the letter he mentioned a quote attributed to St. Augustine.

“Hope has two beautiful daughters: Anger, at the way things are, and Courage, to work for change.”

My fellow staff writer goes on to write (and I quote),

"This sums up where I (we) am (are) these days and why I grow more passionate about Jesus. He is the hope of the world—you know. Without hope, all is lost. This is why I have become angry at how I have wasted so much precious life doing things that don’t matter. Anger can be a useless passion if it is not harnessed in the right direction. When it is, it can change people, places and things. It does not allow you to remain silent, absent, immobile or with excuse. I thank God for righteous anger. But what I need most is courage. Courage to think, to be, to do what needs to be done—to do what Jesus did. It is courage that I pray for most.

What he said resonates with me. I pondered what he said and realized I'm angry too. I'm angry how I have wasted time doing what I thought were "churchy" things: serving on the deacon board, playing in the worship band, serving as a leader in various sub groups of the church- things I thought were necessary to advance the kingdom of God that Jesus mentions so much when He spoke to his disciples in the Gospels. I believed it was my "ministry" to help keep the church finely tuned allowing it to be "attractional" to the "lost". I believed this was God's plan for me and this was necessary so they ("the lost') would come to a church service, listen to the pastor "do his job" (since I already did mine) by preaching a rousing sermon, and then at the end they would "make a decision" for Jesus by repeating a salvation prayer at the end of the service. This was the means to the end. From there they would join the church (and maybe a small group or a Sunday Bible class) and come faithfully every week. Then maybe once in awhile invite a co worker or a neighbor to a church service. Please don't read me wrong-It's important that everyone comes to a faith decision concerning Christ, but is this where it ends? Is this what Jesus was talking about concerning the advancement of the Kingdom? Jesus admonished us to go (Matt 28:19). His instruction wasn't getting people to come to church. I'm not down on "coming to church", I'm down on this being the primary exclusive role of the church. In the book, "Right Here, Right Now", the authors mention there is no distinction between the NT phases kingdom of God and kingdom of heaven. It should catch our attention that these phrases are used over eighty times in the Gospels regarding Jesus' message, while the word church is used a mere three times in all the Gospels. It is also intriguing that the word disciple is used over 260 times in the Gospels alone. The author points this out because of the undeniable fact that the vast majority of Christians and their leaders emphasize church but give scant attention to the kingdom of God and disciple making. I pray we all have the "courage" to be disciple makers and to what Jesus commands us to do-GO!