You're Doing It Wrong

There is a well known book series, with a hit HBO series called Game of Thrones.  I can't say much about the show as I've never seen it.  But I have read the first book.  There is a scene in both where a young girl is given a sword by her half-brother.  He asks her if she knows how to use it.  She answers,

The pointy end goes into the other man.

So what does that have to do with M28 and discipleship?  Well, nothing.  But it has a lot to do with me and something God has recently been teaching me.  It'll make sense by the end.  I hope.

Do any of you ever have one of those days, or weeks, or lifetimes, where God just kind of smiles at you and says, "You're doing it wrong?"  Okay, a few of you.  Oh wait, is that everyone?  Wow, good to know I'm not alone in this.

Now I'm not saying this is an always, every time, kind of wrong.  There are times I know it's getting done right.  Those moments are usually when I'm stepping back and letting God do his thing.  I might be the messenger at times, but the message is still God's.

For the past year I've been trying to dive head first into this discipleship thing.  I've read half a dozen books.  Been at meetings, discussions, brainstorm sessions, you name it.  I get the concept.  But I couldn't find anyone to disciple.  So I read some more.

Cause if you aren't doing it...certainly you just need to have more knowledge on the topic.

In reading a new book I thought, maybe I just need a cause.  A place of people to dive into.  The example in the book was that the author and a friend went to India and worked with lepers.  They just dove in and God worked in them.  I thought, I can do that, right here.

Maybe not lepers, but surely there is a place that I can go.

And I found one, or rather one came to me.  It was living in a recovery house for drug addicts and alcoholics.  I just dove in.  I knew little to nothing about those life styles.  And it seemed like things went from rough to worse over the two months that I lived there with residents.  I even got a disciple before I moved into the house and he eventually moved in there.




Without going into a lot of details the house did not work out in the end.  My first thoughts were that I had failed.  The discipleship I had going failed.  I felt like a failure.  You see a trend here.  I was doing everything right.  At least according to the books and ideas.  Well, except maybe the Book.


Last week I had a few different conversations with some wise and encouraging people.  Good friends.  Good people.  Then I had the conversation I really needed with God.  That's when I heard him say, "You're doing it wrong."  He wasn't angry.  It's like a parent watching a kid trying to put a square block in a round hole.

When they are in third grade.

Now remember that bit with the sword?  This is kind of how my conversation with God went:

God - "Jesse, what are you doing?"
Jesse - (holding sword by the blade) "Um, sword fighting?"
God - "You're doing it wrong."
Jesse - (examining the mess he just made) "Oh." (slow realization sets in) The pointy end goes into the other guy."
God - "There you go champ."

There are a lot of great tools for doing discipleship.  But never forget that God is the source of all those things.  You see I was relying too much on the tool rather than the teacher.  I was too worried about making a difference instead of letting God work.  I realize now that the house wasn't a failure, I just may never see the results.

God can and will continue to work in those guys long after they forget about me.  Or maybe we will come back in contact at some point.  Who knows!  God is in control and we need to remember that in all our endeavors.  We are just supposed to go spread the seed.

The seed will grow when it lands in good soil.

grace, peace + hope

-Jesse